Thursday, April 07, 2005

A New Sensation - Wooooooow

You all know Steve Sampson. Right?
Legend. Mentor. Heroic World Cup Coach. Supreme Being who gave the world the mighty 3-6-1 formation (so powerful it spawned its own magazine).
And you may not be able to conceive this, but once again, this man has turned the sporting world on its ear (it has ears?).
I understand that it's really quite difficult to imagine a mind so creative that it could design yet another whole new innovation to a game thatÂ’s probably thousands of years old. No one ever thought we would live to see one guy who could do it twice. But maybe we should all learn not to underestimate this man called Sampson.
Let me set a stage for you.
Last Saturday as the Galaxy were busy getting pasted 3-0 by Columbus, I scanned the lineup, I watched the flow, I mentally logged the substitution pattern, and like any good admirer of a master, I tried to absorb it all as quickly as possible and learn from it.
It took me the whole match and several days afterward to ponder what I had seen. I couldn't quite pick it out, but I could swear there was something different going there.
I am not exaggerating when I say, it truly hurt to think that much. I slept extra hours to refresh my mind. I ate as healthy as I have ever eaten to keep at peak cognizance.
After 4 full days of intense scrutiny on my part, and as I sat on the shitter, it hit me.
I said to myself, "No way dude. This can't be right."
I effortlessly wiped my ass, washed my hands with a bacteria killing soft soap, and got out big clean sheets of drawing paper. I did some graphing and some manic sketching.
And after yet another full day, this thing took on a shape right there on that paper.
Again I asked myself a question. "Could it all be this simple?"
It was.
Sampson, that merciless bastard, had outdone even his own brilliant self.
It was a whole new soccer revolution. A true breakthrough for the new millennium.
Was this the first new branch to sprout in the world football oak tree since Rinus Michael's "Total Soccer"?
Yes! Yes indeed it was. And by god it was breathtaking.
Let me lay this out for you. (You might want to sit down.) Mr Sampson unveiled the power of the 4-6-0! You read that right. 4-6-0!
That's 4 in the back, behind 6 powerful midfielders, and absolutely no strikers. None. (Who needs 'em, those pampered pussies.)
Draw that out on paper for yourself if you don't believe me. It's gorgeous to look at. Go on, draw it.
Who needs anyone up front for you when you have this kind of a battering ram?
Galaxy GM Doug Hamilton promised not only winning soccer, but also entertaining soccer. (His words, not mine.)
This is obviously the amazing stuff he had in mind.
Hamilton is a frickin genius.
And Steve is a geniuses genius.
Can you imagine the fear and confusion this new lineup is causing all other coaches in the league. No one ever dreamed of such a force.
Whoever has to deal with this six headed beast next is going to wish they could face a significantly lesser opponent. (Like Arsenal or someone conventional like that.)
Impressive indeed Steve!
Your revolution has begun!
And I am in awe.


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