Friday, January 13, 2012

Some Weak Gruel News for Friday, January 13, 2012

Yes, Brucio is still away. Sources say he's exploring restaurant franchise opportunities in Newfoundland. Please be patient with me. I am an amateur.

So how did everybody fare in Thursday's MLS SuperDraft?

Over at No Short Corners, Will Parchman is apoplectic that Enzo Martinez fell all the way to 17th, where Salt Lake scooped him up. He also gives high marks to Vancouver's selection of Darren Mattocks, labeling him the "attacking jewel of the draft." Low marks go to the Red Bulls for picking a 'keeper with their lone selection. Which prompts Parchman to ask this question: "What is with Erik Soler's goalkeeper fetish, anyway?" Hey buddy, we all have our hangups. Please don't judge.

Ives Galarcep agrees that Martinez was the "steal of the day." He also gives top marks to Montreal and Toronto for their picks. Failing grades go to Columbus and New York.

And over at WVHooligan, Vancouver, Philly and Chicago get top honors from Drew Epperley. He thinks the Whitecaps, though, walked away with the best loot: "First year coach Martin Rennie scored huge yesterday, it is as simple as that."

Major League Soccer

WaPo's Steve Goff reports Chris Pontius expects to be 100-percent healthy by March 1. His excellent 2011 campaign for D.C. United was cut short when he broke his leg.

Brian Ching is heading to Montreal after threatening to retire if picked in the expansion draft. He still doesn't sound very happy about it. There is some lingering bad blood between Ching and Montreal coach Jesse Marsch.

Is Danny Mwanga being shopped around by Philly? Union assistant Diego Gutierrez denies that it is so.

Brian Quarstad, of IMSoccer News, talks with Calum Mallace, who was the 20th pick (by Montreal) of the second round in the MLS draft.

Big Apple Soccer reports that New York has purchased the MLS rights to Wilman Conde from Chicago. He could fill the void left by Tim Ream, who is expected to be introduced by Bolton next week.

Brucio was on Jimmy Conrad's American Soccer Spectacular podcast yesterday to discuss the MLS draft. You can listen to it (if you dare) here.


Looks like Dullsville on the fixture schedule this weekend. Liverpool v. Stoke City appears to be the most intriguing matchup. Maybe there's some doozy of a derby that I'm missing.

Barney Ronay says Andy Carroll is like Sting. Or like Sting's Amazonian tribesman friend. Or something like that. Wow. That is really a low blow to Sting.

I love Mario Balotelli. Only a bored, dumbass sports reporter would label it "eccentric behaviour" to utilize a public bathroom.

George John is on a two-month loan at West Ham. The club hopes to make the move permanent. Could Edson Buddle soon be joining him?


It's the Milan derby! The two legendary clubs square off at the San Siro on Sunday. After a miserable start Inter have won five straight, outscoring the opposition 13-1, and are just eight points off the lead. Milan are tied atop the table with Juventus.

Amy Lawrence argues that the intrigue for the Milan derby has been ratcheted up even further by the bizarre, ongoing transfer saga of Carlos Tevez. Both Milan clubs want the Cro-Magnon man. It looked like Milan had landed him. But then the sale of Alexandre Pato to Paris St. Germain fell apart and the Rossoneri don't have any money. Maybe Silvio Berlusconi can hold a bunga bunga sex party fundraiser. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Wesley Sneijder will be available for Inter for the first time since November 2. That is huge.

Varun Mathure says the ghost of Jose Mourinho haunts Inter.

Milan have awarded coach Massimiliano Allegri a two-year contract extension through 2014 ahead of the big match.

Milan have won the last three derbies. (I am going to cheer for Milan. Just to annoy Brucio. Because the pay for this gig sucks.)


The bastards are still on Christmas holiday. Let's get back to work already, you guys! Lazy, pampered Europeans.

Jermaine Jones has been called in to the U.S. training camp. He's currently serving an eight-week suspension from Schalke 04 for stomping on an opposing player.

Africa Cup of Nations

It is amazing that neither Egypt or Nigeria qualified for this tournament. That is all.

Gold boots

I know there are a lot of other countries where there have been futbol developments in the last 24 hours. But I am a mere mortal and have run out of time. So I'll leave you with a picture that Brucio sent along of these ridiculous gold cleats that Adidas created to honor Lionel Messi winning his third straight Ballon D'Or.


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