Tuesday, February 23, 2010

No mascots in football! A myth of cryptozoological proportions.

GUEST BLOGGER: The Super Rookie, a fiend of the highest order, with an unrivaled passion for all things bike racing and futbol fanaticism, pitches in for today while Brucio travels the world for a week.


All of you loyal readers of this wonderful website have heard the fantastic news of professional soccer being saved in the Twin Cities with the creation of NSC Minnesota in the newly-formed USSF Division 2 soccer league. With a new team comes an ever expanding list of necessities in order to field a team come opening day. At the top of the list of needs are players, coaches, money and all the other good stuff that we expect from a top-notch professional sports organization. Near the bottom of the list, where it rightfully belongs, is the creation of a team mascot.

All too often, being an American soccer fan comes with many disparaging comments from other "football" fans who know the "real" way the sport is played in Europe, specifically, in Europe. Yet, in England almost all of the teams have a visible mascot that masquerades around the stadium and city to spread the word of their professional sports team. How often does your favorite Manchester United fan speak of Fred the Red? Hell, he would probably get destroyed in a fight with his eastend lunar equivalent Moonbeam (seen here with his girlfriend Moonchester).

Why is it that we in America are held up to a standard of sport that doesn't even exist in other parts of the world? Recently, a posting on the NSC Minnesota facebook page suggesting ideas for a mascot were met with responses like, "I'm not sure why a mascot is needed for a soccer team...you don't need a mascot. You need more passionate fans." Really? I think the Thunder had some pretty passionate fans, as will this new team. Plus, the Minnesota Thunder had a kick ass mascot named, Thor. Why can't a mascot go hand-in-hand with the passionate soccer fans and continue to meet the expectations of professional sports fans the world over?

The next time someone tells me about how "real" football teams don't have mascots I will point them over to Football Mascots. They will get to see some amazing mascots that have infected the sport with their collective awkwardness. For instance, if I lived in West Ham the first phone call I would make for my child's birthday party would be to secure an appearance by Herbie the Hammer. If I was trying to impress the ladies with my swagger I would have Mr. Posh from Peterborough United show up to chauffeur me around the city (chicks dig dudes with monocles).

Having a mascot that forces people to ask questions is a good problem to have. A few of us here in Minnesota have gotten behind the idea of having the new mascot of NSC Minnesota be Nessy the Loch Ness Monster. Sure, it may be confusing on how we came to this rationalization (NSC spells out Nessy, think text speak and not phonetics), but that is a the beauty of it. Who cares if it doesn't makes sense to the average person. It is about building awareness. Asking questions raises awareness!

Fans of the Minnesota Wild are still confused on what exactly Nordy is, and T.C. is much too simple for the Minnesota Twins. Why not mix it up a little bit and make people scratch their heads like Sammy the Shrimp of Southend United?

Sometimes communities adopt mascots, once created for individual teams, as a symbol for their entire community. The most prominent example of this is of Youppi, the former mascot of the now defunct Montreal Expos. Upon losing a place in the world of baseball it was quickly announced, to much fanfare, that the Montreal Canadians had signed Youppi as a free agent! This example is the beauty of the entire thing! Mascots are meant to be stupid, they are meant to be out there and idiotic (who remembers the creation of the San Diego Chicken), but if we have learned anything it is that they actually work, as proven by the mass adoption of mascots by almost the entire Football Association in England.

So, if you want to see NSC Minnesota follow the lead of Inverness Caledonian Thistle of the Scottish league and adopt Nessy's cousin, NSC. Feel free to join The Believers and spread the word about the movement to create the greatest mascot in all of USSF Division II soccer.

For the record, my third favorite mascot in professional soccer (after Thor and Nessy) has to be the cleverly named Chester Field Mouse of Chesterfield FC in League Two.


Blogger digchros said...

Love the post, Brucio. Having a mascot that can take part in the stupid halftime exhibitions at Timberwolves and Wild games at the very least reminds people that we do, in fact, have a team here.

But I'm going to miss Thor. :(

7:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

great post!

8:09 PM  
Blogger Graham said...

Pretty sure its not Bruce posting :)

Guest posters all week.

8:33 PM  
Anonymous whb said...

I have said this on the forum, but I think Nessy and the Believers is fantastically clever. It completely negates the boredom inflicted by the Stars name.

10:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A few things:

1.I believe
2.Thor deserves a proper norse ending, we should set up a funeral pyre and burn him before NSC's home opener.
3.Any time soccer mascot talk comes up I always think of Kasey Keller tackling the crap out of J√ľnter.3


7:32 AM  
Blogger Demko said...

What about Crunch? HOW DARE YOU FORGET CRUNCH? I will never visit this site again!

8:25 AM  
Anonymous bq said...

Billy the Badger (Fulham) got in trouble for harassing Avram Grant at the Cottage when he was in charge at Chelsea. A great moment in sports history.

10:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great article but there is one mistake. You got Moonchester and Moonbeam mixed up. Moonchester is the guy and Moonbeam is his girlfriend.

10:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank god for the Colorado Rapids--they have FOUR mascots!

12:43 PM  
OpenID ollyscott said...

Mascots are the future, but I would give them a promotion. I've written a little bit in my blog about how mascots should play the game too! We should have mascot football/soccer, just imagine it! There could be competitions and leagues set up, it could go international!! Imagine the FIFA Mascot Football World Cup, and the game that would be released subsequently for the Playstation 3 and XBOX 360!!

7:39 AM  
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5:38 AM  

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