I Have No Voice Today Cuz I Spent Hours Screaming The News At Cleetus Last Night

-US Open Cup mania struck last night. We had one ridiculously retarded match up here in St Paul as our Minnesota Thunder sucker punched the defenseless Real Salt Lake 6-4 in extra time. Yes that's right. 6-4. Insanity. Chant of the match: "Chivas Scored 5. We Scored 6!" The Open Cup website has excellent recaps of all the matches from the 3rd round and also links to the local newspaper stories. Read on brothers and sisters. Our boys next scalp will be that of Colorado on Aug 3 back in St Paul at our lovely little home affectionately known as The Jimmy. If you missed last nights game due to some lame excuse then you are a first class boob!
-Here's your MLS All-Star starting squad:
G-Matt Reis - New England
D-Greg Vanney - FC Dallas
D-Eddie Pope - Real Salt Lake
D-Jimmy Conrad - Kansas City
M-Landon Donovan - Los Angeles
M-Clint Dempsey - New England
M-Ronnie O'Brien - FC Dallas
M-Amado Guevara - Metrostars
M-Shalrie Joseph - New England
F-Carlos Ruiz - FC Dallas
F-Eddie Johnson - FC Dallas
The reserves will be announced some time today.
-Cuban striker Maikel Galindo defected over the weekend and turned himself in to US Immigration officials Monday. He is seeking asylum. And is a decent player too. Welcome to your new home Maikel.
-Scores and coverage from the first leg of the first round of this seasons UEFA Champions League. Liverpool was a 3-0 winner over Total Network Solutions, with Stevie G scoring all three. Good thing they resigned him last week or it would have been a 0-0 draw. Ronnie O'Briens former club Shelbourne was a 2-1 winner on the road.
-Gold Cup: In last nights final two matches of group play, Mexico beat Jamaica 1-0 on a goal by Alberto Medina & the other match had Guatemala and South Africa tieing 1-1. Gonzalo Antonio Romero scored for Guate, but Bongani Nkosi tied it for the Africans. The Quarterfinals are then set for this weekend:
Saturday July 16 in Boston at Gillette Stadium
Honduras v Costa Rica
USA v Jamaica
Sunday July 17 in Houston at Reliant Stadium
Mexico v Colombia
South Africa v Panama
-Copa Libertadores Grand Finale: Tonight on Fox Soccer Channel is Sao Paulo at home to Paranaense for all the marbles. The first leg ended 1-1, so Sao Paulo has that away goal advantage to start the match, and they never lose at home. Game time is 730pm central.
-Juve are making a lot of noise claiming that Arsenals Patrick Viera is about to sign with them any moment now. I usually don't write about rumors but this one seems pretty strong and I have read that Viera & Arsenal are interested in making the change.
-Inter let two more players walk away this week, but Sorondo signing with Charlton and Emre with Newcastle.

The Besteses

At the end of last season I put together my MLS Best XI of 2004. And since we are approximately half way thru the 2005 season I thought I would put together a midseason squad. (It is tempting to just leave last years team as the best of the first half this year! But I won't, even though it's a hell of a squad.)
Here is this seasons team, followed by last seasons:
- - -
2005 Mid-Season Best XI
Goalkeeper
Matt Reis - New England
Defenders
Jimmy Conrad - Kansas City
Tyrone Marshall - Los Angeles
Eddie Robinson - San Jose
Midfielders
Shalrie Joseph - New England
Ronnie O'Brien - FC Dallas
Clint Dempsey - New England
Christian Gomez - DC United
Amado Guevara - Metrostars
Forwards
Jeff Cunningham - Colorado
Pat Noonan - New England
- - -
2004 Best XI
Goalkeeper
Joe Cannon - Colorado
Defenders
Jimmy Conrad - Kansas City
Bryan Namoff - DC United
Ryan Nelson - DC United
Midfielders
Landon Donovan - San Jose
Diego Gutierrez - Kansas City
Ronnie O'Brien - Dallas
Steve Ralston - New England
Simo Valakari - Dallas
Forwards
Jaime Moreno - DC United
Josh Wolff - Kansas City

Here Are The Top Candidates For Todays News

-US Open Cup: 3rd Round matches tonite: (go Thunder!)
Seattle v Portland
Western Mass v Chicago
Rochester v Virginia Beach
Richmond v Ocean City
Charlotte v Chivas USA
Atlanta v Des Moines
FC Dallas v Wilmington
Minnesota v Real Salt Lake
-Gold Cup: I guess we got about what we should have expected last night. USA 0-0 Costa Rica. Pretty lifeless stuff most of the time. Oh well. John O'Brien was about the only American I can pick out for praise. I can't wait for him to be healthy and at full ramming speed. Tony Sanneh on the other hand looked really old and tired. No one was great or terrible. And the team didn't give up a goal.
Quarterfinal round on Saturday for USA again at Gillette in Boston. Opponent will be determined via tonites winners and losers.
In last nights other matches:
Columbia 2-0 T&T - goals scored by Abel Aguilar & Hector Hurtado.
Canada 2-1 Cuba - Atiba Hutchinson & Ali Gerba scored Canada's goals. Cuba's goal was scored by Alain Cervantes.
Honduras 1-0 Panama - Chicago Fire defender Samuel Caballeros scored for Honduras.
Tonite they play the last two group matches which will determine the last spots in the quarters:
Guatemala v South Africa
Mexico v Jamaica
-In other Gold Cup news, Frankie Hejduk will miss the USA quarterfinal match because he is an idiot and took a dive in the box against Costa Rica and picked up his second yellow of the first round. Hence a one game suspension. Everyone else is cool.
-Marvell Wynne is going to stay in school (UCLA) for now and work on his game.
-One of my favorite players from the 98 World Cup was Marcelo Salas of Chile. Yesterday he parted company with his club of the last two years River Plate. He has no new deal lined up.
-Ives Galarcep who covers Metrostars for the North Jersey Herald hands out his mid-season grades on the team.
-Joe L sent me the link that the New York Times posted containing all MLS player salaries. Some get paid a lot. Others nearly nothing. Its rough reading on some of these boys.
-There will be a press conference at 4pm central time today announcing that Peter Wilt will head up the group trying to land an MLS squad in Old Milwaukee.
-Houston Chronicle has a profile on Mexico coach Ricardo LaVolpe: Lavolpe far from likeable but has formula for success
-So did you hear that the opening game at the brand new stadium in Dallas will only have 12,000 fans in attendance. Why you ask? Cuz the parking lots are not done so they are going to limit seating to avoid madness in the surrounding areas. What a bunch of fools. They had a whole year to build parking lots. How tough can that be. Let's hope this is not a sign of things to come at "Pizza Hut Park" aka "Greasy Gutbomb Field".
-Hernan Crespo has officially returned to Chelsea after his one year one deal to AC Milan.
-The MLS All-Star Game starting 11 will be announced sometime later today.
-ADDITION: I missed this one from last night, cuz I thought all the US Open Cup matches were played tonight, but it turns out Portland beat Seattle 2-0 at PGE Park. Not only do the Timbers advance to the 4th round and host San Jose, but they avenge a 4-2 loss to Seattle last Friday night! Sounds excellent to me.

I Need Some Lunch, And All I Got Is This News.......Wanna Trade?

-Tonite in the Copa Oro its USA v Costa Rica from Gillette Stadium in suburban Boston. Both teams are thru to the knock out stages, but this will determine seeding, so there is some value at hand. Coach Arena says he will use a combination of players from the first two matches in tonites lineup (remember, he used two separate starting 11's against Cuba and Canada). USA leads Costa Rica on goal differential if they draw. Personally I would like to see Santino Quaranta get another shot.
-At least 3 European clubs are trying to sign Mexican marvel Jared Borgetti. Good move. He is a guy I always thought MLS should have gone after in a big way. He would look good at the Super-Club in New Jersey.
-MLS Standings for the mid-point of the season!
(team - games played - points)
Chicago - 19 - 35
FC Dallas - 16 - 34
New England - 16 - 32
San Jose - 17 - 28
Kansas City - 17 - 25
Los Angeles - 17 - 25
Metrostars - 16 - 24
DC United - 16 - 22
Colorado - 17 - 17
Columbus - 16 - 14
Real Salt Lake - 17 - 13
Chivas USA - 18 - 9
-An email was sent out to Galaxy fans about getting tickets for upcoming games. It made mention of the fact that there are only a few "grass area" seats left for the match vs Real Madrid, and then it goes on to mention other upcoming events. At the very end we get this special little gem:
We have also released a limited number of Field Side seats for the Real
Madrid Game for $1,000 per seat
For tickets to any of the above events call Nick at 310-630-2229
Nick Mann
Account Executive
Los Angeles Galaxy
Office-(310)-630-2229
Cell-(413)-374-7733
I suggest we all call him on his cell during peak hours and ask to purchase 10 to 12 of those special 1000 dollar seats! One Thousand dollars a seat! You better get more than a match for that kinda money, and he or she better be damn cute.
-DC United are finally getting their much talked about mystery defender from Argentina. He is 22 year old Facundo Erpen of Talleres de Cordoba (a 2nd Division team). He came up thru the Boca Juniors system.
-One of the worst players I have ever seen in MLS, playing for one of the worst teams in the history of the league, Matt Taylor of Chivas USA, has turned it around, for at least one magnificent game, to be named MLS Player Of The Week. Not bad for a guy with a rat-tail. The team beat Fake Salt Lake 5-1, with Taylor scoring one and setting up the other four. What a night.
-Juve is going to play a game in New York on Aug 6. No other details yet.
-Real Madrid released their pre-season roster for the two games in the USA later this month:
G: Iker Casillas, Diego Lopez, Carlos Sanchez
D: Michel Salgado, Alvaro Mejia, Ivan Helguera, Carlos Pavon, Carlos Diogo, Roberto Carlos, Raul Bravo, Ruben De la Red
M: Pablo Garcia, David Beckham, Zinedine Zidane, Guti, Luis Figo, Thomas Gravesen, Jose Manuel Jurado, Alvaro Arbeloa
F: Raul, Ronaldo, Michael Owen, Juanfran, Roberto Soldado
-Frankie Hejduk Q & A from Soccer 365.
-It looks like San Jose defender Eddie Robinson is finally getting back to that quality spot he was hitting before his nasty injuries over the last two years. Back then he was invited to a couple USA training camps and got a cap or two. Maybe it'll happen again. Team USA can always use more defenders.
-Our main man Jonesy, aka Grahame L. Jones, esteemed soccer writing aficionado with the Los Angeles Times, has crept on to the USA bandwagon over the last 12 months. Have you noticed this? Today he gives us a big feature story on a big dude: Oguchi Onyewu. Jonesy insists on calling him Gooch.
-Did you see this? I hadn't, but the Kansas City Star says that MLS has gotten rid of one of my pet peeves. They are no longer combining goals and assists into a point system. The stupid two points for a goal, one point for an assist thing is gone! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (Thanks Lil John) I hated it. Who handed out the assists? No one knew. It might be an assist. It might not be. Now we don't have to care. Thank you MLS. And Thank You Kansas City Star for noticing and bringing it to our cumulative attention.
-A second great story in today's KC Star (they cover the team a lot better then the fans attend the games that's for sure!). Some smartass fan went and put the team up for sale on E-Bay for a cool $15 million. Good job kid. I mean, why not sell the team this way, seeing as Old Lamar can't seem to sell it any other way.
-Rob Hughes of the International Herald Tribune: Vantage Point: For soccer's stars, check is reality
-Somehow I missed this a couple weeks ago: New England released two players from the team, Brazilian midfielder Cassio and Canadian midfielder Felix Brillant. I thought Cassio was supposed to be a big deal?

Well Its About Fucking Time!!

The Columbus Crew have FINALLY fired their crappy assed coach Greg Andrulis. Note to Crew Management: You could have done this two years ago and saved yourselves a lot of time. Now you better go out and get someone with a personality and some gonads.

Michel Houellebeq Is A Punk, But Then That's Not Really News, This Is

-FROM US SOCCER: SEATTLE (July 9, 2005) - U.S. forward Conor Casey has been diagnosed with a torn ACL and a Grade 2 sprain of the MCL in his right knee after an MRI examination confirmed the injury. Casey suffered the injury in the second half of the USA's 4-1 win against Cuba on July 7 in the opening match of the 2005 Gold Cup. He was replaced by Landon Donovan in the 66th minute. Casey will remain in the United States to await surgery, which is expected to be scheduled for next week.
-Jonathan Spector is gonna play for Charlton this year on a loan deal from Man U. I am sure that if he does great he will return to his home side as a full time starter, and if he flounders he will be cut loose. Go Jonny Go!
-USA 2-0 over Canada. They played decent, for most of the game. John O'Brien didnt show much in his return to the starting XI. I can't remember too much else about the match except that Donovan and Beasley go together like Magic and Kareem. The most interesting aspect of the game was that a completely different squad took the field from last Thursdays match against Cuba, and there's yet another 8-10 guys out there that were not even included on the Gold Cup roster that could easily be there. What a great thing to think about. The depth of USA soccer is now for real.
-Next up for Team USA is Costa Rica on Tuesday evening from Boston. Both teams have 6 points from the first two matches.
-In other Gold Cup happenings: Mexico found a way to lose to South Africa 2-1 last Friday night, then returned Sunday to demolish Guatemala 4-0. Guatemala may have some excellent offensive players like Carlos Ruiz and Pando Ramirez, but they have absolutely no defense at all. Sad. Jamaica beat Guatemala 4-3 last Friday night and then drew with South Africa 3-3 on Sunday. Panama and Trinidad drew 2-2, and Honduras knocked Columbia down another peg 2-1 (Columbia has lost both matches now).
The game schedule for the next two days looks like this:
July 12
USA v Costa Rica
Canada v Cuba
Colombia v Trinidad
Honduras v Panama
July 13
Guatemala v South Africa
Mexico v Jamaica
-Corinthians ran past rival Palmeiras 3-1 in the Brazilian championship on Sunday in Sao Paolo at Morumbi! Palm actually scored first on a goal by Leonardo Silva early in the second half, but then Gustavo Nery tied it up and sub Rosinei scored two for the big Corin win!
-The first leg of qualifying rounds for the next UEFA Champions League kickoff tomorrow and Wednesday. Here's the matches:
12th
Lev. Tallinn v Dinamo Tbilisi
Neftchi v Hafnarfjördur
Dinamo Minsk v Anorthosis
Kairat Almaty v Artmedia
Rabotnicki v Skonto
Sliema v Sheriff
13th
Haka v Pyunik
HB v Kaunas
Glentoran v Shelbourne
Dudelange v Zrinjski
Liverpool v TNS
Gorica v Tirana

Like Marlon Brando In Last Tango In Paris I Have A Stick Of Butter And I Want To Put It Up Your News

-Gold Cup actions: USA 4-1 Cuba - it was not pretty, but at least lively, and as the real talent subbed on to the field late in the game everything changed in a quick hurry. And, Canada 0-1 Costa Rica, Jafet Soto (who seems to be pretty damn good - and he was a great actor in Homicide) scored on a pk for the win.
Tonite its Mexico v South Africa on Univision at 9pm central, and Guatemala v Jamaica.
Saturday at 330pm central time its the next USA match, this time versus the road cones of Canada.
-Also on TV tonite its the North Pacific derby - Seattle v Portland live on Fox Soccer Channel at 10pm central time.
-MLS games on TV Saturday too (all time central): at 5pm its DC vs KC on ESPN2, at 730pm its Chicago vs New England on FSC, & at 11pm see the review show MLS Wrap on FSC.
-This story from the Denver newspaper - Rocky Mountain News - has potential to be totally sappy, but it turns out to be a decent story with some cold hard reality behind it all. Colorado Rapids teenage high school goal scoring phenomenon Noel Fabrice tells his story.
-Benny Olson's brother tells stories about young Ben's soccer beginnings at the US National Team Players Association site (which is always quite good).
-Problem child Craig Bellamy is gonna play for Blackburn next. His former coach from Wales Mark Hughes runs Blackburn so maybe he can tame the idiot.
-So I finally got to see that Copa Libertadores first leg final match last night (a day late for us English speakers) and it was worth it. Paranaense scored 1st, but Sao Paulo outplayed them and gained a 1-1 draw. This was supposed to be the home leg for Para but because their stadium "ONLY" holds 27,000 it was deemed too small for such an important match, and it ended up being played in Porto Alegre which is over 300 miles from Para. What a joke! 2nd and final leg next Thurs in Sao Paulo at the fabled and totally intimidating Morumbi. This neutral site business is about as dumb as the year New England agreed to play both of their legs of the Champions Cup in Costa Rica.
-Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink, the man with the best name in world football today (especially when zzzzzzung out by the public address announcer at PSV Stadium after a goal), signed a two year extension to his deal with PSV.
-New England has snapped up the Brazilian midfielder Gilberto Flores who was recently booted by Metrostars.
-Jaime Moreno of DC United chatted online with fans via ESPN yesterday.
-ADDED NEWS: Every year at the MLS All-Star game they get some shitty "musical act" to perform. This year they have hired someone called Bowling For Soup. I am not shitting you. What is that? A band? A TV sketch comedy show on WB? Cable Access? 80's humor? If they are musical are they ska or something? Maybe swing? You gotta be kidding me. As if the game itself is not already distasteful enough. The year I saw the game in LA they had a band, but I have no recollection of who it was. I was "busy" at half time. But it was time when Drew Carey "discovered" socccer. He was the MC that day. And no one gave a hoot. Rightly so.
-MORE JUST ADDED NEWS: The tickets for LA Galaxy v Real Madrid went on sale this morning at 10am local time and are all but gone already. Just proves that if the game looks interesting that people really will want to be there. So now MLS needs to step and spend some real money on real players if they want fans! On the other hand, I was just at Ticketmaster and I can get amazing seats for the FC Dallas stadium opener on Aug 6. Dead-center mid-field 9th row! For LA all that is left is the last couple rows behind the goal and then up the grassy knoll aka Lalas Hill.

Come On US, News

-USA v Cuba tonite in the Gold Cup.
-Joe Cannon was named MLS Player Of The Week. He is a great keeper. The best in the league as a matter of fact. He is not related to Joe Bazooka, or Joe Rifle.
-The always brilliant Columbus Crew have converted just 1 of their last 5 penalty kicks at home. They shoot pk's just like they are coached. Dumb, Pathetic, & Boring, but with a nicely groomed beard.
-I am still trying to figure out why Metrostars signed not one by two known MLS hobos/malcontents: Home Mortgage Magnate Tony Meola, and retired amateur boxer (still wearing his in-ring headgear) Ryan Suarez. Does anyone know why?? Do you think its a Lalas thing, or a Bradley thing?
-The back and forth between Alexi Lalas of the Mets and Kevin Payne of DC over the future of Freddy Adu is quality stuff. I even read where someone else cracked the joke that this was actually a New York Times vs Washington Post battle. Let's see some damn blood then! Here is the Lalas stuff by Jack Bell, and here is the Payne stuff by Steven Goff.
-31 MLS players are on Gold Cup rosters as the tourney kicked off last night. Here are scores from the matches at the Orange Bowl in Miami (and we start off with a fairly large upset!!!!)
Columbia 0-1 Panama - fantastic result for the Canaleros - goal by Luis Tejada, with Panama's Jaime Penedo being named Man Of The Match.
and
Honduras 1-1 Trinidad & Tobago - goals scored by Christopher Birchall for T&T, and Maynor Figueroa for Hondu.
-Some one on the Guadalajara staff says that Francisco Palencia is on his way to signing with Chivas USA. A couple of defenders are rumored to be following.
-The first leg of the Copa Libertadores in not being shown in my area until tonite, so I will not be reading about it, or reporting on it until tomorrow.
-Steve Goff at the Washington Post got his hands on the "secret" list of salaries of MLS players. Freddy is not the highest paid player after all. He is THIRD, behind Landycakes and the Grown Ass Man.
-Netherlander Boudewijn Zenden has signed with Liverpool.
-Pat Noonan interview from US Soccer
-Chris Armas interview from US Soccer as well
-Pablo Mastroeni story at USA Today
-Bobby Convey interview with Yanks Abroad
-Thiago of the Chicago Fire had knee surgery last week to fix some torn cartilage. They hope he will be back around August 1.

Just A Lil Snatch Of News

-Stevie G sends all the tabloids into full melt down with his head spinning decisions of staying or going at Liverpool. I think its funny, but I really don't understand why people take the stories in the tabloid papers to be built on any facts at all. Just wait until the story is finished and then you will have a nice clear picture.
-ESPN has its list of the top ten MLS teams from the first 10 years of the league. Its written by Ives Galarcep from the North Jersey Herald.
-Last weekends First & Second Division wrap ups, including my boys horrifying 3-1 loss at home to Seattle. Not noted in the wrap up of that match is that fact that it was a tight game until the Thunder goal keeper Joe Warren was kicked in the face going for a ball and Seattle scored its third goal after a scramble with Warren lying out near the top of box in agony. No call by the ref on that one. The refs needed an escort off the field post game. It was kinda wild.
-Did you see those creepy amber colored contact lenses the USA was wearing at practice the other day. Weird as hell. Supposedly they are great for seeing better on the field. Designed by Nike. Made John O'Brien look like he was back in Amsterdam enjoying the hierba buena. NOTE: OK, so a couple people asked me for a link to this video, sorry I didn't include it originally. There is no direct link to it, but if you go to this page and then scan down just a little to a paragraph titled ALL ACCESS VIDEO - Seeing Is Believing you will find the link at the end of the paragraph!

Hey Bitches, I'm Back With A Taste Of News For Ya

-Inter let Christian Vieri go last week, and this week he was snapped up by their city rivals AC Milan. He will probably score 3 against Inter when they meet next year. That bastard.
-Sports Illustrated has a capsule preview of all 12 teams in the Gold Cup that kicks off this week.
-The Copa Libertadores championship series starts Wednesday with Paranese hosting fellow Brazilian team Sao Paulo. Two teams from the same country have never met in the finals before.
-Chivas USA is making some attempt to improve. They made a fairly big signing this weekend by snagging striker Juan Pablo Garcia from Mexico's Atlas. He was all set to sign with Club America before Chivas stepped in and stole him away to MLS. I think this is a very interesting turn of events, and I really wonder if this is not just the beginning of younger Mexicans choosing MLS over MFL. Garcia will not join Chivas until early August however, because he is on the Mexican roster for the Gold Cup.
-See Mexico's group stage matches in the Gold Cup On Univision:
Fri July 08 v South Africa LA Home Depot Center 9pm central
Sun July 10 v Guatemala LA Coliseum 2pm central
Wed July 13 v Jamaica Houston Reliant time tba