The News From Lake Nacogdoches

-How brilliant is Clint Dempsey? He reels in another one as The Rev beat Chicago for the 2nd time in 10 days with this unreal goal! The dude has become the Nacagdoces Superman with all these amazing winners. (Wait until the end of the clip for his latest post goal celebration! Last weeks theme was baseball, and this week it's fishing.)
-Tab Ramos on the plight of the Metrostars (from radio interview with Inside Soccer Radio): "The Metrostars organization is one in intensive care. That’'s the only way you can describe it. It’'s not just about playing and results. Teams can go 100 years without winning a championship. There are many of them all over the world. It’'s not winning a championship every few years. It'’s about you getting excited to go to the stadium. It'’s about you having an opportunity as a fan for someone to do something that makes you happy for that day. We have not found too many reasons to go back to the stadium."
-So Chris Klein wears the captains armband for KC this weekend, and what does he do with his leadership roll? He takes a blatant dive in the box and draws a PK. What an idiot. Nice example you set Mr El Capitan! Who does he think he is? Francesco Totti?
-This word has not been spread around much, but Cory Gibbs has a bad hamstring and has not played in two weeks for Feyenoord. That's all we need is another American hurt with less than a month to go before the next pair of Qualifiers. (Beasley & Lewis being the other two of course.) BTW - Feyenoord play at PSV next weekend.
-Wigan gained automatic promotion to the English Premier League by blasting Reading (not featuring Bobby Coney) out of the playoff race. Hello Wigan. Goodbye Reading.
-Lyon NOW have won the French League Un title. Finally. For the 4th consecutive season! Is France the new Scotland? The bad news for Lyon is that their coach, Paul Le Guen, has walked away from the team. I can only assume he has a very big spender on the other end of his phone line.
-Conor Casey's Mainz successfully avoided relegation and secured their spot in the Bundesliga for next year, even though Roy Makaay hit for a hattrick and Bayern beat them 4-2. The other American in Alemania named Kasey (Keller) is close saving his teams skin from relegation. Where would 'Gladbach be without Keller?
-Even though Super Pippo got a game for Milan after a nearly season long battle with injury, it was his team that suffered the real injury with a loss to now #1 Juve. The Old Lady still has something left in her gasatanka after all.
-EVERTON! Who would have put money on them making the Champions League before this season started? Amazing job, considering they sold their best player before the season started, and their second best player during the season. They got a lot of cash for those two, but they didn't run out and replace them. They just played with what they had. Every pundit on the planet figured them as a ripe candidate for relegation not Champions League. David Moyes will probably be named Manager Of The Year in England for the trick he pulled off. (Please shut up about Jose Marinho being MOTY. And while were at it, can somebody shut Jose up too.) Most people would have picked Liverpool, Newcastle, and maybe Middleborough to battle for that spot before the season started. They all choked on their own vomit, especially Newc.
-Chivas USA gets their first win. Only 10,000 showed up to see the game even though the team throws a big Cinco de Mayo bash. Did Coach Rongen save his job for another week by winning. I bet he did. The other question is, "What happens if they don't start drawing crowds to pay the bills?"
-Last week I forgot to mention that CSKA Moskova wrapped up Parma 3-0 at home to advance to the UEFA CUP title match. They are the first Russian team in over 30 years to reach any Euro title match. And in a total heartbreaker - Sporting Portugal scored 2 away goals to AZ Alkmaar's 1 to steal a 4-4 aggregate. The winner came at the very end of the 30 minutes of extra time. What an awful way to lose. So its May 18 and a lucky home game for Sporting Clube de Portugal against PFC CSKA Moskova as the match had already been set for Lisbon at the Estádio José Alvalade for the UEFA Cup Championship of 2005.
-Rob Hughes at the International Herald Tribune has a great story on a kid who is not Freddy Adu: Nurturing protégés in a sport where stars grow up fast
-And lastly, according to that pillar-of-beyond-reproach-reporting-and-London-fish-wrap The Sun, Gerry Houllier thinks UEFA should give Liverpool a Champions League spot for next year, even though they haven't earned it yet.

Rankings & Reasonings for Friday May 6

Rank Number & Why:
01 New England - Simply the best. On the road, at home, in the rain, blowout wins, close battles. They have it all. Again I will state that Avery John is this teams achilles right now. They better sort that out soon. The rest of the team is playing some amazing stuff right now.
02 Los Angeles - Great action on both ends of the field. They punk'd Dallas last week, when everyone thought it was going to be epic. One thing to remember, they are doing all this damage during a long home stand at the best home stadium in MLS. Sorry DC.
03 FC Dallas - The mighty bite the dust. Go to LA for a war, and come home bloody. They have 27 more games to sort it out though. No fears.
04 Chicago – Hangin' in there. Get stomped at home by the league leaders, then go on the road to 'lumbus and teach them a lesson. Good job men in red. They have some really exciting young players on this team.
05 San Jose - Um. Why did they trade Steve Cronin to LA? This will come back to haunt them, as Pat Onstad is looking ancient. They don't seem to miss Landycakes up front. I think their true problem is in the coaches box though.
06 Kansas City - More ugly Gansler ball. Come on Bob, release the hounds! You have 'em. Now use 'em. This bunker ball will kill me if you keep playing it. Or I just won't watch.
07 DC United - They have to get it together some time soon, don't they? Well I guess nothing is ever for sure. But this team has way too much offense to be playing boring soccer like this. At least they didn't allow any goals on the road.
08 Metrostars - You win on the road, and score 3 against Joe Cannon and you leap off the bottom of the pile. Did anyone really think they were that bad?
09 Real Salt Lake - Another tie aint so bad for this team, especially against an offense like San Jose. The problem I am starting to see though is that the starting 11 average age is almost 45.
10 Colorado - Weren't they the team that was going to set a new standard for defensive quality? They let a lifeless Mets come to Denver and slap 3 on 'em. Then they put Jeff Cunningham in the game at the last minute and he scores again. I think he has played about ten minutes so far this season and he has 2 goals. Get that dude on the field now!
11 Columbus - What a stink bomb they are. No spirit, no fight, no excitement, no will. NO MAS! Gracias.
12 Chivas - Well, at least they weren't a sieve last week. Only gave up one. But to achieve that they had to play 9 men back all game. This team is in trouble, unless more guys step up and get serious.

To All My Friends...

I have no idea if you enjoy my crappy blathering or not, but I enjoy writing it. Justified!
Its even more gratifying to know there are other freaks just like myself here in the good old USA.
Below are some excellent weblogs dedicated to the beautiful game.
Reading them religiously is a must if you want me to take your love of the game seriously.

...off the post!

We Call it SOCCER (also thanks to the brood at WCIS for showing me how to use my "comments" section properly)

FOOTBALLS ARE ROUND!

Ramblings of a Soccer Junky

Soccer Fever

Soccer Thoughts

Now go buy yourself some bubblegum.

Chew On The News

-Is it over for Carlos Bocanegra at Fulham. It sure is starting to seem like it. He has not played in at least a month, and when Fulham boss Chris Coleman talked about the man (Liam Rosenior) in Los's spot he said this: "....overall he has been a big plus for us this season. He has come on the scene aged only 20 and he is a kid. He has played out of position on the left hand side but I think he has done terrific." So, yeah. Carlos better find a new home cuz he has been beat out by a guy who doesn't even play the spot.
-Not surprisingly, Clint Dempsey was named MLS Player Of The Month for April. He is tied with Brian Ching for tips in the league in scoring with 4 goals and his team has 13 points from 5 matches to lead MLS.
-Today in the UEFA Cup semifinal second legs its CSKA Moskova v Parma (first leg 0-0) & AZ Alkmaar v Sporting Portugal (first leg 1-2). No one has the advantage in the first match, but Alkmaar has that magical away goal in their pocket from the first legs.
-Last night Saprissa downed Pumas UNAM 2-0 in the first leg of the CONCACAF Champions Cup final in San Jose, Costa Rica. The deciding leg takes place Wed May 11 in Mexico City at the Estadio Olímpico Universitario. Saprissa won the title in 93 & 95, while Pumas have won the title in 80, 82 & 89. Last years champion was Alajuelense of Costa Rica.
-The coach of the Australian national team has to undergo anger management counseling after being found guilty of verbally abusing a reporter. Bummer dude.
-Soccer 365's grizzled uncle and unfortunately named Don Cuddy has a Q & A with first year sensation Michael Parkhurst of the Revs.
-Poor lil Francesco Totti starts his 5 match ban for beating on a Sienna defender. He is sorry about the incident. Awwww.
-LA Galaxy will take on J-League champs Yokohama F. Marinos in the 2005 Yokohama World Challenge on Wed June 8 at the Home Depot Center
-I wrote about it last week, so ESPN steals my schtick for a column this week. Bitches.

Hail Milano (Even Though I Hate To Say It)

You have to give it up to Milan for the huge victory yesterday in the Champions League semi. Even though the were totally outplayed by PSV over the second half of leg one and the entirety of leg two yesterday, they still gave you that impression all along that they were going to find a way to get that one away goal to seal their fate. And of course they did. Its a damn shame for PSV cuz they gave it every thing they had, and they are so much fun to watch. Now we might be subject to a snooze-fest for the final from Atatürk Olympic stadium in Instalbul on May 25. Liverpool v Milan - two teams who got to this point by playing the absolute minimum of offense. The edge has to go to Milan though, cuz of Shevchenko!

Cock-a-doodle News

-Metrostars won their reserve league match 3-2 over Colorado on Sunday. But the real news was the fact that Jonny Walker was in the nets the last 45 minutes for the first time since the end of last season when he had shoulder surgery. They are going to need his leadership if they want to stand a chance of being any good.
-It was really hard not to let out a loud cheer in the office when Liverpool did it! 1-0 over Chelsea and they are on to the Champions League final against tomorrows winner of PSV (0) & Milan (2).
-Kansas City midfielder, and team captain, Diego Gutierrez injured his knee cap last Saturday and will miss two months.
-Wanna know how much the big boyz are getting paid to play the beautiful game. Soccer America has a list of the 20 highest paid players in the world as gathered by France Football (the same people who award the world player of the year).
-A rich dude from New York is in the market for a MLS team. Will he get a new team? Will he buy one that exists? The Kansas City Star has him connected to that towns pathetically supported squad.
-Pablo Mastroeni of Colorado has been suspended for 2 games after a cheap shot he laid on Metrostars youngster Abbe Ibrahim. He will miss the game this weekend at Los Angeles and a home game a week later against Chivas. If you watch the video you can barely see it happen cuz the camera is too far away, but the commentators (I am pretty sure its JP Dellacamera & Shep Messing) talk about it, and say that Pablo deserved a red card, while the referee calls nothing. Then Messing says that the league should look at the video after the match, and give Mastroeni a fine and suspension, which is exactly what happened. Good call Sheppy.

Newsy Quibblings

-Amado Guevara from the Metrostars was named MLS Player of the Week for Week 5. He lead his team to a much needed 3-0 victory by scoring a mean hat trick in Colorado against the leagues best keeper Joe Cannon.
-Will anyone decent suit up for England when they take on the mighty mighty USA on May 28 in Chicago? So far Owen, Beckham, Lampard, and Terry are all out.
-Coca-Cola English League Championship season is coming to a close this weekend. The top 2 teams get direct promotion into the Premiership, while the next 4 go through a playoff for the last spot.
Here's where we sit as of today:
Sunderland 91 points - already secured automatic promotion to the Prem as #1
Wigan and Ipswich tied at 84 - one will go up automatically as #2 finisher, while the other will be in the playoff for the final spot
Preston 75 - clinched a spot in the playoff
Derby 73 - fighting for playoff spot
West Ham and Reading tied at 70 - fighting for playoff spot
Sheffield United 67 - still with a chance for a playoff spot
And here are the games for the final week of the regular season: (all games kick off at the same time on Sunday May 8)
Wigan at home with Reading
Ipswich away to Brighton
Preston away to Derby
Derby at home with Preston
West Ham away to Watford
Reading away to Wigan
Sheffield United away to Wolverhampton
In playoff it will be:
3 v 6
4 v 5
Then the winner of 3-6 plays the winner of 4-5
Last team standing goes up to the Premiership

Ball y Jonesy

Two articles for you to read (mandatory):
From Los Angeles Times - Klinsmann Still Makes Everything Look Easy by Grahame L. Jones
and
From Soccernet - Morbo From Afar by Phil Ball

Run DMB Could Be Out For A While

Yanks Abroad is reporting that DaMarcus Beasley could miss 3-5 weeks from an injury he suffered during an Eredivisie match last Friday. I saw this photo of some big freak trying to snap the boyz leg in half as posted by bluedaddy19 on bigsoccer.com. Later on, johan derksen posted this GIF, also on bigsoccer.com. It's gruesome (you've been warned). Luckily he only sustained a knee strain, cuz it sure looked a lot worse. This could mean he will not play the rest of the season for PSV, and also miss the next two USA World Cup Qualifiers, at home to Costa Rica on June 4 and away to Panama on June 8.

Monday Mornings Splendiforous News Bits

-My beloved team, the Minnesota Thunder, kicked off their 2005 season with a draw in Portland on Friday night
-A huge congrats go out to Chelsea for dominatingly won the EPL. An unlimited budget, a couple of homegrown stars, and great manager all add up to them being nearly unstoppable this season. Frank Lampard scored 2 in the match to clinch the title. His first goal came only a few minutes after he took a shot "south of the border" and appeared to be in considerable pain (natch!) His second was on a lovely counter attack breakaway to seal it up. Their keeper, Peter Cech, was awesome this season. So was John Terry. Again, congratulations to Chelsea.
-And Lyon wrapped up the French title this past weekend as well. 4 in a row for them!! CORRECTION: Bill tipped us off to the fact that Lyon did not wrap it up yet. They can this coming weekend, which would make it 4 in a row. Thanks Bill.
-In MLS, Clint Dempsey did it again for New England as they tipped a much improved defensive Chivas 1-0. LA proved that they are more real than FC Dallas right now, kicking their asses 3-0 at the HDC. KC & DC played to an ugly 0-0 draw - blechhhhhhh. Chicago mopped up on the Crew 2-0 in Columbus. San Jose came from behind to draw 2-2 in Salt Lake City. And Metrostars bitch-slapped Colorado 3-1 in the Mile High City.