Friday April 29 With Simon Kuper

Finns do it, Greeks talk about it

MLS Rankings & Reasonings for Friday April 29

Rank Number, Team Name & Reasons Why:

01 New England - After their ferocious clobbering of Chicago in midweek (and on the road) this team shows they are the best right now. Maybe not as good individually as Dallas, but over all they have an even better offense. Twellman, Noonan, Dempsey, Cancela, Ralston, Joseph, Riley, Leonard, Dorman. All have gotten into the scoring action this year. The squad scored 4 at DC and 3 at Chicago without their top assister Ralston. They will need more defense for the long haul though, cuz sooner or later Avery John's inabilities, and Michael Parkhursts rookie-ness are going to cost them back there.

02 FC Dallas - An offensive machine. This team is going to get better too. Mulrooney, Ruiz, Johnson, O'Brien. Wow are they good together! So much for the mythological MLS-AEG conspiracy against Dallas. And they have a decent defense to boot. The only draw back is that they have not beaten anyone really good yet. This week will be a test.

03 Los Angeles - Are they any good? Will they rise to join the elite? We shall see cuz they get Dallas next. They beat the two expansion teams thoroughly at home, but got spanked on the road by an average 'lumbus team. They can score! And they look kinda mean. Who knows what happens next. They played great the first half of last year too.

04 Chicago - A clear drop off from the top two or three. Beaten badly at home, and they only showed offense when it was desperation time. I have no idea how they have the points they do have. Probably because they are good old fashioned tough bastards. It's certainly not pretty to watch. But 2 wins, a draw, and 2 losses is still a pretty good start for a team with no real starting forwards.

05 San Jose - They got a win finally. They needed it badly with only 2 points after leading all 3 of their previous matches. The win was over KC who I still think has all the tools to make it to the finals. SJ have proven they can score though, and Ching doesn't need Donovan behind to score either. Could DeRo be their engine?

06 Kansas City - Win the first game, draw the second, lose the third. Not much of a trajectory. Giving up 7 goals is not good either. I bet Fat Tony is sitting on his couch gorging on Pringles With Messages From Survivor chips and laughing his ass off.

07 Colorado - Well. What can you say besides these two words: Joe. Cannon. After giving up 3 to KC in the season opener they have been a well oiled defensive machine, only giving up 1 goal total (including shutting out Dallas). Problem is they have only scored 2 since the first match. Where is Jeff Cunningham?

08 Columbus - What do you want me to write here? I have no idea who this team even is. I recognize names on the roster, but that's about it.

09 DC United - Too many games to start the season perhaps. Nope, that's not it. Have you seen these guys play defense? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! It's hysterical to watch. Did you see David Stokes take out his own keeper? Did you see Boswell run over Twellman in the box for no reason? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Oh my god they are bad on defense! Please stop, yer killing me over here.

10 Real Salt Lake - Expansion team. What else can you say, I fully expect them and Chivas to be awful and finish at #11 and 12 for the season.

11 Chivas USA - The other expansion team. Same as above. They are worse than RSL. And Ryan Suarez answers no defensive questions for them. Outside of scoring on the free kick that everyone missed, did they even have a real shot at Kevin Hartman the other night. No, they did not.

12 Metrostars - Welcome to the bottom of the barrel dudes. So you get the best deal in the league by playing your first three games at home. If you are any good you get all 9 points. Now many do they have? 2! Now go hit the road and learn how to play. Then come back and talk to me. Until then you are officially the worst frickin team in the league.

Bathroom Reading

A couple things you need to read:
Rob Hughes from the International Herald Tribune writes about the success of AC Milan. Shevchenko Keeps His Cool In Harsh Glare Of Spotlight
and
From SoccerNet, written by Robert Gotta. Our pal Keeper Ken fell in love with Fiorentina during his stay in Italy last year, so I thought a story about this historical and controversial club was appropriate. Indifference Ball Game

A Spot Of News

-Columbus signed Panama U20 midfielder Luis Gallardo. He is a starter for the team that will play in the World Championship this summer.
-Results from the UEFA Cup first-leg semifinals: Sporting Lisbon beat visiting AZ Alkmaar 2-1, while Parma and CSKA Moscow drew 0-0. Reverse legs next Thursday.
-One of my favorite new young players, James Riley of New England, injured his hamstring during the beatdown of Chicago on Wednesday night, and will probably not play on Saturday against Chivas USA.
-Eric over at Ramblings of a Soccer Junky points out that the Galaxy v Chivas match was the highest rated MLS game on ESPN2 ever. And thats after the joke that set the game back over an hour in TV start time. See, ESPN! There are people who wanna watch. So quit jerkin us around. You bastards!

The Young 'ens

Who are the young players getting a shot in MLS so far this season? Not nessecarliy first year players, but rather young players who are getting their first real shot at regular playing time. Most of those listed below are first year players, but there are a couple of second year guys too. The players with a * next to their name are the ones I think have done really well for themselves. Let's see where this goes as the weeks flow by.

*James Riley - NE
*Michael Parkhurst - NE
*Chris Rolfe - Chicago
*Chad Barrett - Chicago
*Thiago Gaucho - Chicago
*Clarence Goodson - FC Dallas
*Ugo Ihemelu - LA
*Paulo Nagamura - LA
Luke Kreamalmeyer - RSL
Hunter Freeman - Colo
Guy Melamed - Colo
*Danny O'Rourke - SJ
Ryan Kelly - Colu
Bobby Boswell - DC
*Clyde Simms - DC
*Scott Sealy- KC
Brad Guzan - Chivas
*Michael Bradley - Metro
*Tim Ward - Metro
Carlos Mendes - Metro
Zach Wells - Metro

MLS On National TV This Weekend

*Kansas City v DC United at 3pm on ESPN2 (a rematch of last years Cup final)
*New England v Chivas USA at 6:30pm on FSC
And now......
Rumor has it we will all get to see the Gunfight Showdown Match of the Week:
*Los Angeles v FC Dallas at 9pm on FSC

die Nachrichten

-With all the injuries piling up on DC United's back line, they have brought in Carlos Llamosa on trial.
-San Jose defender Troy Dayak is gonna hang it up at the end of this season. Sadly, I think its about a season or two too late. Just look at how bad they are leaking goals this year. He is going to coach some sort of indoor team. Also, I never liked him.
-Coach Sigi Schmid and his USA U-20 squad will be playing in the Twin Cities in mid-May as part of their warm ups for the 2005 FIFA World Youth Championship which will take place in Holland from June 10-July 2. The team will be taking on Canada U-20 at the NSC in Blaine on Wed May 18 at 735pm
-I love reading Soccer America's MLS CONFIDENTIAL. Always some great scooping going on. Today's headline is: 'Game' facts; Not so much Wizardry

Sweet Fancy Nacogdoches

Did you see Clint Dempsey, the man from Nacogdoches TX, in action last night. He is really good. And very exciting to watch. You don't know where he is going to pop up on the field, or what he is going to do with the ball. He may be the most exciting American I have seen since the other Clint exploded on to the scene. We have to hope though, that Dempsey is not Mathis.
Being the reigning MLS Player Of The Week seemed to spur Dempsey on. He played like he had decided that he wants to make the award all his own for a while. Fine with me, cuz he's brilliant out there. His team beat up Chicago pretty bad, in Chicago, 3-0. Dempsey, Noonan and Twellman all scored! I think New England is gonna be number 1 next week, unless Dallas really pulls off something special on Saturday night.
And Glenn Davis of the Houston Chronicle is obviously a genius, cuz he feels the same way I do about Dempsey.

More On Lopsidegate

A more in-depth look, via Joe J, on the bizarrely hilarious misshapen field in DC. Written by the top quality journalist Steven Goff at the Washington Post.

The News From Ichikoo Park

-PSV didn't have a chance yesterday, did they. Milan showed again why they are so powerful. 2-0 win at home, now they just have to hold it together next week on the road and they are thru to the Champions League final.
-Chelsea is gonna do the same thing to Liverpool today (only worse)
-So it seems as though this sharing of the stadium with a baseball team is not going so hot for DC. Joe J tells us that one side of the field is 6 yards longer than the other! How does that happen? 6 yards longer? It still hasn't helped the home side much though has it.
-Columbus Crew midfielder Ross Paule has been forced to retire at age 29 because of Post-Concussion Syndrome. I thought he looked to be really coming on strong the last two years, but the steady string of concussions held him out for longer and longer periods of time. Its a shame. I have seen the effect that multiple concussions can have on a person and it is not good. Paule is set to become a coach for the Crew reserve squad. Good luck to Ross.
-With Columbus acquiring Cornell Glen from Dallas yesterday, they have released Dante Washington today.